he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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