dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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