is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize