I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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