she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
