Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
