Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
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Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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