I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.