eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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