East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
organizing the empties. That sober.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug