Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
