i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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