absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
