i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
