Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
