So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
