Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
