Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
