So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
