Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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