I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
