i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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