Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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