wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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