Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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