Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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