Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
