do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
