I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
too bad you live with your parents still
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
