well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
