It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
