I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
