she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I believe in your delicious
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