Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
