Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize