Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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