Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
