Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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