Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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