why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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