Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
