Already got asked if we're dating
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize