mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
