sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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