I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
