Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
