It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We talked him into tasing himself.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have post one night stand depression
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