i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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