dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
