One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
