Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
