He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
