Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
