I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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