About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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