im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
