She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
