That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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