so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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