It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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