I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
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so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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