I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
FUCK WHALES
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
