I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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