Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
