A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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