and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
