before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
